


Symbiosis

by cardinalwrites



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: 12x11, Canon Compliant, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Regarding Dean, spn coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardinalwrites/pseuds/cardinalwrites
Summary: SPN coda for 12x11 "Regarding Dean."Cas feels Dean's longing disappear and rushed to figure out why. He's quickly briefed by Sam about what's happened to Dean.





	

If a tree’s roots die, the tree dies. The only problem is that because roots are hidden underground you don’t know there’s a problem until it’s too late; the tree gets uprooted and taken out just like that –– a snap in the wind as it’s hollowed out from the inside.

That’s how Castiel felt. That’s exactly  _what_ he felt when Dean’s mind no longer spoke to him.

* * *

 

For nine years, Castiel felt the pull, the constant stream of sometimes broken thoughts that Dean would share with him. There were times that Dean seemed to catch himself when he prayed to Castiel directly, instead grabbing the back of his neck in embarrassment or pinching the bridge of his nose and not making eye contact with the angel. Castiel assumed Dean realized what he was doing and that Castiel was the one getting the messages, so he never said anything.

He quickly realized that Dean had no clue about Castiel’s ability to pick up on longing, for the next few months after that were filled with small phrases, little sayings and observations about Cas that Dean kept to himself. It was only after Castiel fell that he realized Dean felt the same connection he had, the same bond that caused them to be pulled in such disastrous circles that still somehow managed to keep them alive. Dean never acted on his feelings, though. Not for nine years, and Castiel was content with the small lingering touches and occasional moments of vulnerability over the course of those years. He was content because that sense of longing and love never swayed, not even when Castiel wasn’t himself or when Dean was a demon. It was Dean’s love that had mixed with Castiel’s love, a seed that grew into a tree and rooted itself in the pits of Castiel’s grace.

But then that tree died almost entirely overnight. Castiel felt like he was being hollowed out from the inside, his emotions growing erratic and Dean’s bond weakening. It was only after he had called Sam that Castiel found out what had happened. He was on the road within minutes to meet up with the Winchesters. He needed to see Dean now.

The roots were there when Castiel finally made it to the motel room Sam said they were staying at. There were yellow post-it notes in the Impala and a few tucked out on the door. Any other passerby would think it out of the ordinary that a post-it labeled “DEAN DOOR” would be on a highway motel, but Castiel knew what it meant. It meant Dean was getting far worse than he imagined. Sam had said that he and Rowena would be going to kill the witches that had caused the tree to be cut, but right now Dean was locked in the bathroom. Alone. It was all they could do, but they were running on very little time as it was.

Castiel didn’t know what to expect when he entered the room, what state Dean was in or if he had somehow de-aged in the process. He didn’t know if Dean would even know who he was at that point; Dean had already forgotten Sam a few times already. The pit in Castiel’s heart only grew as the seconds ticked by, therefore he tentatively knocked on the door. If Dean did not know who he was after all, then barging in would not help as well.

When Dean didn’t answer, Castiel took a chance. He found Dean in the bathroom staring at a mirror.

“Woah, woah!” Dean cried, his hands shooting up in the air. His eyes were red and skin was bright white, like he had seen a ghost he was not expecting. 

“Dean!” Castiel couldn’t help but feel his heart soar, the pit assuaged for the briefest of moments as he looked upon his best friend, the man he cared about too deeply to have this entire thing end like this. “It’s me, Dean. It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”

“Wh- my name is Dean?” It looked like Dean had been about to cry, but the assurance of no danger put the hunter at ease for that moment. “My name is Dean,” he said firmly, though it looked like he was trying to convince himself. The pit remained a cavern.

Castiel coaxed him out of the bathroom and onto the nearest bed, slowly and surely while speaking. “Hello, Dean. I know you may not know who I am right now, but I mean you no harm. I could never mean you any harm. Ever. Could you please sit down with me?”

“M-my name is Dean. My... brother. I have a brother.”

“Yes, yes you do. His name is Sam.” The angel regarded Dean then, taking him all in. Dean had been reciting the very same lines he was trying to remember in the bathroom. He must have not been able to after a while and could not hold it in anymore. There was no hard-layered version of Dean Winchester to hide behind now. 

“My brother is Sam.” Dean repeated, he corner of his mouth turning upwards. It gave Castiel hope. “You... I know you.” The hope shattered and fell into the pit. It was official. Dean had forgotten Castiel.

“Yes, you know me, Dean,” the angel persevered, masking his pain. He needed to get to Dean and keep him remembering. Sam needed to find the cure as quickly as possible. 

“You’re... You know me, but I can’t remember your name... We’re...” Dean paused then and looked, his eyes meeting Castiel’s own with deep concentration. Castiel could feel that Dean was trying his hardest to remember him. The pit wavered.

Nine years of longing. Nine years of watering a tree that he hoped would one day bloom or the world. Nine years of stolen glances, unnecessarily long car rides, the seeds growing and getting stronger, the tree sprouting. Nine years of dancing around each other waiting for the other to make the first move. Castiel thought he could live with the knowledge that Dean Winchester loved him, even if Dean couldn’t express it. Nine years... And suddenly Castiel found himself without that reassurance anymore.

He was done waiting.

Slowly but swiftly, Castiel moved to take the hunter’s hand, drawing it into his own and holding on for dear life itself. They fit perfectly, and almost instantly Dean gripped back. 

“Dean... please, you have to remember,” Castiel’s voice cracked. He didn’t know what to do, how to save Dean. “Please remember me. Remember when we met, in the barn. Remember when we stopped the Apocalypse. Remember when you broke the connection when i was under a spell. Remember when you saved me from myself.” Both of Castiel’s hands were holding Dean’s own, but their eyes never strayed from one another. Castiel drew a breath before speaking again.

“Remember that I can’t let you die. I won’t ever. Remember that I will be there until your last breath, and I will be there to lead you into Heaven even if I have to fight my way to do so. Remember that I care about you too much to let you go. Dean, remember that I love you.”

He felt Dean’s hand rise to cup his check after what felt like hours in those seconds between Castiel’s words and what happened.  _Please remember..._  He felt a soft kiss to the top of his forehead before Dean went down to catch his eye once more.  _Remember..._ He felt their lips meet, a slow kiss that lasted eons. Suddenly, Castiel felt everything return tenfold. A dam burst inside him, filling the pit so quickly Castiel wondered if he would burst. The tree bloomed, flowers replacing and nourishing the roots and branches underneath. It was hope. It was life. It was––

“My name is Dean Winchester,” Dean spoke softly, his forehead resting against Castiel’s. “My brother’s name is Sam. My mom is Mary, and Casti–– Cas is my best friend. Cas is my angel.”

It was love.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr!](http://www.cardinalwrites.tumblr.com)


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